I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize