and you said cock pushups were impossible
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
