Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
