today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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