I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
