I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We got so high we made milksteak
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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