today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
