I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
