this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize