how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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