he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There r osticjed everywhere
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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