Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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