3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My first STD was from a foam party
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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