direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
