i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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