Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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