Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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