absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
