White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
