remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
