So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
