Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
