Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
