Soap is not a condiment
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
