i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
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My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
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$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just want to make out with him forever
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize