morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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