My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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