All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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