You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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