I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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