White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
