i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
