I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
