Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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