well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
