Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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