Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
