I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
