My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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