i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
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