I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
