My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
