can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize