Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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