I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He? As in you personified your dick?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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