No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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