I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize