i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize