spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
