You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
