can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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