After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
