found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
