what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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