I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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