So drunk its hurt
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
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I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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