In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
