I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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